Challenge # 6 - A picture of someone you could not imagine your life without..

LEDA DEVON MCARTHUR

This challenge was easy and I am sure it comes as no surprise that I chose Leda as the person I could not imagine my life without. Here is something I wrote about Leda that I think sums up my feelings.

How Leda Has Changed My Life

How hasn’t Leda changed my life? Words can barely describe the life altering experience of having a child. Everything I do, I do for Leda now. She took a once dilatory, unmotivated, bleak and selfish woman and made her into a loving, selfless, patient and enamored mother.

 I questioned whether I had it in me. I wondered if I would just tire of my child like I tire of everything else. I wondered if I would grow impatient and want someone else to do this job for me. I had such guilt about these thoughts, but I didn’t need to worry. I don’t ever think that way anymore and I feel silly that I ever did. I would take a hundred temper fits, a thousand 2 am feedings and  a million explosive diapers every day for the rest of my life if it means that I get to hold my lovely Leda for even a minute and smell her beautiful baby smell, touch her velvety soft skin on my cheek and listen to her resplendent laughter. Leda makes every frustrating moment worthwhile with just a small smile. Sometimes I look at Leda and I feel like my heart is going to burst. I can barely contain the love I have for her.

 I tell her all the time how much I love her. I am sure she is going to get tired of hearing it and probably eventually be embarrassed, but I also take great joy in telling her that she was once in my belly and that she came from me. I am very proud of that fact. It will always amaze me that I was part of creating something so beautiful and she is mine. Leda is a part of me. She is a part of my very soul and it is a connection that can’t ever be broken.

Leda is my inspiration. I was always searching before for something to motivate me, for that magic entity that would inspire me to do better. Now all I need to do is look to my daughter.  I know that Leda is going to look to me in the same way. I want Leda to see the world as a place that can be experienced mindfully and know that with some determination and a strong will, you can accomplish anything.

Leda has taught me to be mindful. As much as it breaks my heart, I know she isn’t going to stay little forever. I take every moment and try to catalogue it in my mind. I take the time to hold her close and breath her in, to let her touch my face and hair and take that time to watch her explore and know that at least for this moment she adores her mother and I am her whole world. I love to kiss her wrinkly toes after a bath, make her giggle by pretending to eat her tummy and wear her close in my wrap where I can feel her heart beat against mine.  I take the time to enjoy her.  Even after I have put Leda to bed and finally have time to myself, I find myself looking forward to the moment I get to feed her and hold her in my arms again.

I have never had my patience tested so much in my life. I have never felt pain that comes even minutely close to what I felt during labor. I have never been so sleep deprived and I have never had myself tested to this extreme before and I have never been so grateful.

 

                             LEDA ~ PICTURE # 6

Leda turned 6 months old today. She also tried her first solid food today. I made her homemade short grain brown rice cereal and mixed it with breastmilk. She was a little unsure, but over all I think it went really well :)

Challenge 4 & 5

* I was sick yesterday and I had started the post, but then the Internet stopped working and I did not have the energy or motivation to start over, so I went and laid down on the couch instead. I tried again today and was almost done, but the computer did the same thing and I lost everything. I am a little annoyed right, but I am going to try once more.

CHALLENGE # 4 - YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE

As much as I like quotes, I sat down yesterday and tried to think of which one was my favorite. It turns out I only have one memorized, so I guess it wins as my favorite quote :)


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.  ~Mahatma Ghandi


Here are some other quotes I like:


I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.  ~Mother Teresa


My life is my message.  ~Mahatma Ghandi

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.  ~Jane Sellman

If there's no struggle, there's no progress ~ Rachael Robinson

I'd give all wealth that years have piled,
The slow result of Life's decay,
To be once more a little child
For one bright summer day.
~Lewis Carroll, "Solitude"

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.  ~Confucius

LEDA - PICTURE # 4

CHALLENGE # 5 - A PICTURE OF YOURSELF NOT TAKE BY YOU

Andrew took this picture of me last August when had a mini holiday in Toronto. I was over 30 weeks pregnant and it was not a well thought out trip, but was still lots of fun. We did so much walking! I felt like we walked everywhere and my feet and back were killing me. This picture was taken at the ROM.


The highlight of the trip for me was the food (can you tell I was very pregnant?) I researched restaurants before we went and was determined to experience great food and we did. A nice surprise was when we went to a restaurant called The Marben. Andrews friend is a part owner and it was amazing. It was tapas style, almost everything is grown locally and they have their own in-house butcher which was really neat. It is by far one of my favorite restaurants now. I cant wait until we get to go again. The best thing we had there was the dessert. It was two fresh homemade chocolate chocolate chip cookies and they sandwiched delicious chocolate ice cream and came with two dipping sauces. The one sauce was like a melted whip cream and the other was hot fudge.

Here is a great website with pictures of The Marben.

                                 LEDA - PICTURE # 5



We went to visit my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister and the triplets tonight. Leda can't handle staying up later then 7 lately and eventually passed out on my mom's bed. It was very cute, but the poor little girl was so tired.

Challenge # 3 - Your favorite food and your least favorite food

MY FAVORITE FOOD

I had a hard time deciding what to put as my favorite food. I love food! I am not very picky and there isn't much that I would not be willing to try. I appreciate good food and high quality food, but I also like fast food sometimes and really simple food. Chocolate would have been an obvious answer, so I decided to go a little more outside the box.

Something that I could eat every day is grilled vegetables with goat cheese on rye bread. This is my favorite sandwich. If I am starving I like to eat it as a big snack. It is easy to grill lots of vegetables for the week and they keep really well in the fridge. Rye bread is my preference, but I am sure any bread would work and there are lots of delicious goat cheeses to chose from. I like to grill zucchini, mushrooms, onions and red peppers the best.



I have also had a bit of an obsession with mini coloured marshmallows lately and I really enjoy them in hot chocolate :)

MY LEAST FAVORITE FOOD

I do not like green peppers. They are OK raw, but I do not like them cooked. I think they taste like ear wax..enough said..

Leda - Picture # 3

Leda has been very off and on lately. I think she is teething for sure now. There is lots of drool and lots of chomping going on. There are still lots of happy moments amongst the grumpiness though and I am very grateful for those.



Challenge # 2

Challenge # 2 - A PICTURE OF SOMEONE YOU MISS

I miss Pollox every day. He was a great dog and I miss his company. I still expect to hear him bark sometimes and still catch myself looking for him every once in awhile. I understand that loosing your pet is part of owning a pet, but besides my rats, he was the first pet I had lost in my adult life.

I got Pollox from The Humane Society in Brampton when he was 3 months old. I was 18. He slept on my bed from the first night I had him and he was very much "my" dog. I think Pollox only ever bit once and it was because he was provoked. He was a gentle, loving dog. I left him at my parents house for a few years while I went to college and then brought him to London as soon as I could. He hated my apartments, but was in heaven when Andrew and I moved into our home.

Pollox used to growl and bark when people would go near me and I loved that he was protective, although I was not convinced he would hurt anyone. He would bark when you said "Wheres Angela?" and loved to get into the garbage. Something I never thought I would miss. You would be watching TV and suddenly realize he was in your lap and not even know where he had come from. He loved to be cuddled and I used to sleep hugging him. I loved him so much.

It is probably good Pollox did not meet Leda. Pollox hated babies and would bark when he would hear them cry or laugh on TV. I was unsure of how things would go with the new baby, but I am sure Leda would of loved Pollox even if the feelings were not mutual.

We lost Pollox last summer very suddenly from lung cancer. As far as I can tell the only time he really experienced any discomfort was in the last week of his life. Pollox was 13 1/2 years old and lived a great life. He was a healthy, happy dog and was loved right up to the last moment and is still loved even now.

I look forward to my next dog, but I am always going to miss my Pollox.

Leda picture # 2

Leda and her Stella doll. This doll was her first Christmas present from Santa :)

30 Day Challenges..

I keep seeing 30 day challenges on Face Book and on people's blogs and I think it is a fantastic idea. I can't load the app on Face Book, so I decided my blog would be a better place anyway. This way I will blog every day for the next 30 days and if I am lucky this will become more of a habit and I will do better at blogging. I tried to find a list of 30 challenges that I liked, but I couldn't, so I decided to create my own list.

If anyone would like a copy of the list so that they can do their own 30 Day Challenge I would be happy to share it with you :)
I have also decided to post a new picture of Leda every day with my challenge and we can see how much she changes in a month. It is hard to believe she will be 6 months next week. Time has gone by way to fast.

Challenge # 1 - A PHOTO OF YOU TAKEN OVER TEN YEARS AGO 

I was 11 years old in this picture. In case you cant tell I am the one standing to the right of the Birthday girl in the awesome zebra sweatshirt. I remember that I loved that shirt, but always felt unsure about my permed hair. I wanted it to be curly, but somehow it never turned out that way.

Leda - Picture #1

This picture is too funny! Leda just woke up from her nap and is doing a big stretch :) I love her squishy little face!

I will never buy ricotta again!

About a month ago I made mozzarella for the first time and was impressed by how easy and delicious it was. Tonight I made ricotta and it was even easier. I doubt I will ever buy it from the store again. It tastes so much better homemade and took under an hour to do it.

               Ricki's Whole Milk RICOTTA!

INGREDIENTS:
1 gallon milk (milk cannot be ultra-pastorized. I use Natrel 3.25%)
1 tsp citric acid
1 tsp cheese salt (optional)

EQUIPMENT:
1 gallon pot
cooking thermometer
butter muslin

1. Pour milk into non reactive pot (not aluminum or cast iron). Add citric acid and cheese salt (optional). Stir.

2. Heat milk to 195'F. Stir often to avoid scorching.

3. When the curds and whey separate, turn off the heat and let set for 5 minutes.

4. Line a colander with the butter muslin. Ladle the curds gently into the cloth.

5. Tie the cloth into a bag and hang to drain for 1/2 hour or more depending on the desired consistency.

6. After draining to the consistency you prefer, the cheese is ready to eat. It will keep for up to two weeks in the refrigerator, or it may even be frozen.

I used the ricotta to make lasagna :) Next time I plan on making both the mozzarella, the ricotta and maybe even the noodles, but that might be a little to ambitious :)

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

I know I have been complaining a lot about my lack of sleep lately, but that is my world right now. I think about sleep all the time, I crave sleep, I need sleep!

For the last month now Leda has been waking up every one to two hours. Now, I do realize that I have it a lot better then some parents and she could be doing a lot worse, but regardless...I'm tired. For awhile I could say that at least she would go down easily and at a reasonable hour, but for the last couple days she has started getting miserable at around 6 pm and fighting sleep until after 10 pm. She has also been fighting her morning nap and it makes for a long, cranky day.

At least when I go in the room to check on her and I know she is awake, she greets me with giant smiles and it is very cute, but I would think she was even cuter at that moment if they were sleep smiles.

I think a lot of what parents end up doing with their babies is out of desperation. I have thought a lot about this. I have looked into different sleep methods, but I cannot bring myself to do any of them. I will not let Leda cry it out no matter what anyone says to me and I support other peoples decisions to do what they need to with their babies, I just don't want to do it with Leda. I have looked into no cry methods, but that is basically what I am doing now anyways and it really isn't getting me anywhere. I figure that this to shall pass. Eventually we will get past this and I am just going to be really tired until that day.
Leda wakes up starving at night, so I don't think there is much I can do about that right now anyway. I will start her on solids in 2-3 weeks and maybe that will make a difference.
If anyone has any advice, their own stories or words of encouragement, I would love to hear them.
I am going to make myself some coffee now and try and start my day :)

Here are some pictures of Leda that I took yesterday at the park :) It was her first time in a swing and she seemed pretty happy :)